Doc Tales

December 27, 2017 — 

I'm a procrastinator. I have often thought it should be my New Year's resolution to be more timely but I never seem to get around to actually making a resolution. So, after significant thought and liquid mental libation, I have redesigned the annual calendar to better accommodate occupational deadlines. Below is an example of a typical month.

1. The first thing you'll notice is that I have eliminated Mondays. Everyone hates Mondays anyway so why even have them (especially as the first day of the work week - bad idea).
2. I've replaced Mondays with an additional Friday. Everyone loves Friday, why not start the work week off on a positive note?
3. As you can see, I've also eliminated the first of the month. Too many things are due on the first of the month or, if you're already past due from the previous month, expectations are way too high for actually producing anything of value by the first of the following month.
4. It always seems that everything is due yesterday. So, with this calendar, it is now possible to have a deadline of the 6th for example and actually receive the article on the 2nd - four days AHEAD of schedule! Wouldn't that be great?
5. I've re-named "Wednesday" as "Hump Day". It's just cuter and everyone calls it that anyway.
6. How many times have you heard "where did the time go?" I believe this phenomenon is a direct result of short months like February. If you're trying to meet a deadline, you need MORE days in the month not LESS. So, every month in this calendar has 31 days. Since every month also now begins on a Friday, this calendar rewards workers with 3 additional "free" days at the end of the month to revel in the fact that they got their work done on time (often ahead of schedule).
7. I'm also adding an additional week to the annual calendar. This week can be used during any month of the year at the discretion of the worker. This week is referred to as "Next Week" as in "I'll have that article to you Next Week."
8. Finally, this calendar doesn't bother to show weekends. Let's face it, who's going to work on their days off to meet some arbitrary deadline set by someone in Corporate who doesn't even understand the amount of stress you're under to begin with?

FRIDAY	TUESDAY	HUMP DAY	THURSDAY	FRIDAY
6	5	4	3	2
13	12	11	10	9
20	19	18	17	16
27	26	25	24	23
			31	30